The Life of a Squib
by LiterallyReid
Summary: Argus Filch, Hogwarts' Caretaker, was born a squib; this fact is undoubtedly the cause of his bitter existence. His life is afflicted and warped by the pain in knowing there is magic in the world, but not being able to touch it.


"Give that back!" Argus screeched, jumping and flailing incessantly towards the small model car bobbing up and down in the air.

"What're you going to do about?" His brother laughed, waving his wand about, flinging the automobile every which way, "You pathetic _squib_."

"Andonis Diometris Filch!" Diana, the boys' mother, stormed into the backyard, "We do not use that word in this household!" She cupped the boy's face in her hands, "Do you hear me?"

"Yes, Mum," He dropped his wand with a scowl, sending the toy car onto the grass with a thud.

"Give me your wand."

"But _Mummy!"_

"But Mummy nothing! _Now_ Andonis!" He reluctantly slammed the wooden stick into her hand and stormed off into the house.

Argus' jaw clenched as he imagined casting all the spells he would've learned his first year at Hogwarts; he would've just returned home with his brother (who had just had just completed his third year) had he not been forced to muggle school due to his 'lack of magic'.

"Sweetheart, come here," She wrapped her arms around still-fuming Argus. "Hey, what do you say when I get back from work tomorrow we go out for ice cream?"

He frowned up at her, "Without Andy?"

"I'll see what I can do," she ruffled his sandy hair and turned to head back into the house, "Oh, and don't forget that the Pinces are coming over for your birthday on Friday."

Argus grinned. How could he forget?

xxx

"Argus!" Irma Pince stumbled into the room cradling a large box; her parents followed closely behind.

"Penelope, Theodore, thank you for coming!" Diana greeted the two, waving the two kids upstairs to Argus' room.

Irma gently placed the box onto Argus' bed and clapped her hands together. "Well… what are you waiting for? Open it!"

Argus excitedly sat down beside the box and lifted its lid. Irma sat down beside him with wide eyes and grinned widely, "So, what do you think?"

"I- I…" Argus couldn't help himself from smiling.

"Her name is Mrs. Norris!" She was a dusty-colored cat, rather small and scrawny, but it was as if she was smiling up at the two of them.

Argus raised an eyebrow, "How did you decide on that?"

"From Jane Austen's _Mansfield Park!"_ She lit up but wasn't met by any indication of understanding from Argus. "Have you not read it before?" He shook his head, and she frowned playfully. "I'll lend it to you sometime."

"Mum is gonna go ballistic when she finds out about her," Andonis stood in the doorway with a mischievous look plastered on his face.

"Andy _please_ don't tell her!" Argus jumped off the bed.

"How're you gonna stop me?" He smirked and turned to leave before being struck by a stream of light.

" _Silencio!_ "

Andonis stood there, stunned.

"He won't tell her," Irma simpered, "Will you, Andy?"

He shook his head with vigor and another wave of the wand promised his voice back, though he couldn't bring himself to say anything before scurrying back to his room.

"That's how we'll keep Mrs. Norris quiet too, if you like?" She offered and with a nod from Argus the spell was cast on her as well. Mrs. Norris looked equally as shocked as Andy when she opened her mouth to meow.

"Three years over there and I swear all he can do is make things float around," Argus smiled, "Either he's as big of an idiot as I think he is, or you're just brilliant."

"I wouldn't say brilliant," Irma blushed and flicked her wand, lifting a book off of Argus' desk.

Argus laid down on the floor, "Tell me all about it, would you?"

"It's fantastic, it really is," She took her spot right beside him, "I don't even know where to begin! The only thing that'd make it better would be if you could be there,"

"I'll find a way," Argus turned to face her, "I can't just be magic-less, right?"

Irma's smile faded.

"Right?" He asked again.

"I just don't know, Argus. My mum says that sometimes…"

He turned back towards the ceiling, "No! I can't just be a… a squib,"

"No, of course not," Irma sat up and looked at him, "You're just-"

"Dinner!" Diana called from the kitchen; the two of them stood in silence.

"I didn't mean that," Irma whispered as they walked down the stairs, "I know you'll find a way to get to Hogwarts."

"Happy birthday, Argus!" Penelope greeted them as they took their seats around the table.

"Thanks!" He smiled and grabbed the bowl of mashers in the center.

"Ah, wait for your brother!" His mother scolded, removing the bowl from his hands and drawing a pout from his face.

Andonis eventually made his way into the dining room, taking a gulp before sitting across from Irma.

Argus smirked and once again grabbed the potatoes.

So, Irma," Diana began, "How was your first year at school?"

"Oh it was amazing!" Her eyes lit up, "I can't wait to go back!"

"I'm so glad to hear that! What house did you get placed in, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Ravenclaw!"

"A whole family of Ravenclaws?" Diana looked at Penelope and Theodore with a smile, "Well, we've got a full house of Slytherins, ourselves!"

Argus made a point of clearing his throat and a hush fell over the group as they scraped their plates and helped themselves to seconds.

"Any classes you're particularly enjoying, Irma?" Diana tried to fill the silence.

"I've found both Transfiguration and Charms to be-"

"Can we _not_ talk about this right now?" Argus banged his silverware down onto the table.

"I'm sorry, darling," Diana's forehead creased, "If I'd realized it was upsetting you I wouldn't have brought it up."

"Great well it is… upsetting me," He started down at his plate.

Everyone around the table stayed as still as they could, not wanting to break the silence that had befallen the group once again.

"Well, I'll go get the cake." Diana excused herself and scurried into the kitchen.

"I think I'll help," Penelope followed her in, leaving Theodore behind, who quickly departed into the backyard for a cigar.

Argus frowned down at his mashers, swirling them around with his fork.

"I could teach you," Irma whispered into his ear, "How to use magic."

"Do you think that'd work?" He looked up at her hopefully.

"It's worth a shot, isn't it?"

Argus beamed as Diana walked back into the room, carefully balancing his birthday cake, with 12 lit candles, in her arms. Theodore came back inside and everyone sat down around the table once again before reciting "Happy Birthday".

Argus squeezed his eyes shut, took a deep breath, _I wish I were a wizard,_ and blew out his candles.

"Thank you so much for coming," Diana squeezed her arms around Penelope before opening the door for them.

"Time to go, Irma," Theodore called, receiving a hasty thumbs up from his daughter in response. Irma wrapped her arms around Argus' neck.

"See you on Monday to begin our lessons!" She whispered into his ear before quickly pressing her lips against his cheek and following her parents out onto the street.

xxx

"Andonis, I'm headed to work," Diana yelled upstairs to the boys' rooms, "There's leftover casserole in the fridge and don't forget that Irma is coming over at three!"

"Thanks Mum!" Andonis yelled back.

"You're welcome," Diana muttered under her breath as she made her way out the door, stacking files and important documents in her arms with her briefcase under her shoulder.

Argus paced around his room, Mrs. Norris following behind him.

"Today's the day," He said to her in a whisper, "Today I finally learn how to do magic!"

Mrs. Norris looked skeptically up at him as if she knew something he didn't.

"It'll work," He told her, "It has to!"

Andonis one again appeared in the doorway, "Even if she wasn't enchanted she wouldn't be able to talk to you."

"She knows what I'm saying though," He scooped her up off of the floor, "You can see it in her eyes!"

"For goodness sakes Argus," Andonis rolled his eyes smugly, "You're such a child!"

Mrs. Norris fixed her eyes on the older brother making him squirm under her gaze, "I- I'm going to go warm up the casserole."

Argus scratched Mrs. Norris' head, drawing a purr from her, "I'm not sure what I'd do without you," He grinned at her and set her down on the old wooden flooring. She looked up at him with a cunning smile, as if to say 'I'm not sure either'.

Argus ran down the stairs and skidded into the kitchen upon hearing the casserole come out of the oven. The two brothers sat down across from each other at the dining room table, and began eating without a word to one another.

Andonis heaved a sigh "Argus, I'm- I'm sorry that your feelings got hurt."

"When?" His brother frowned.

"When I called you a… squib," He shrugged.

"I know," the younger brother smiled softly.

Andonis' face scrunched up, "Well I reckon I'll apologize less often if you're gonna take it like that,"

"That was an _apology?_ " Argus shook his head, "But besides, I'm not one."

"What do you mean?"

"Irma's going to teach me some spells today!" His eyes sparkled.

"You know that's not going to work, right?"

"Of course it is!" Argus objected, "There's no way it won't!"

"Argus-"

"You're just afraid I'll be better than you," His hands slapped against the table as he shot out of his seat.

"That's not what I'm saying!" Andonis called, but Argus had already slammed his bedroom door shut.

"Argus…" Andonis knocked on his little brother's door.

"I'm not speaking to you," Argus huffed into his pillow.

"Please, I just don't want you to get too excited," He laid his hand against the dark wood before retreating back into his room.

The only thing that drew Argus out of his bed was the knock on the door, rousing the butterflies in his stomach. He flew down the stairs, skidding to a halt in front of the entryway to compose himself.

"Irma!" He greeted, opening the door and ushering his guest inside, "Lovely to see you again!"

"And you," She snickered, "Shall we head out back?"

"Great!" They raced each other to the large green space, fenced in by a wall of greenery.

"So you'll have to use my wand which may not work," She warned, pulling it out of her back pocket.

Argus carefully extended his palm and she slowly placed it in his hand. They both stood there silently, waiting for something to happen.

"Is that a good thing?" Argus questioned after several moments of only chirping birds and the sway of leaves in the summer breeze.

Irma shrugged, "Can't be bad… okay," She stopped to think, "The first spell I learned was very simple. Just move the wand in a loop pattern and say 'Lumos'."

Argus did as she instructed but to no avail. He tried again, and once more, but nothing happened.

"Hmm… Let me try," She grabbed the wand back, and swished it in a loop pattern, " _Lumos_."

The tip of the wand immediately illuminated.

"Woah," The corner's of Argus' mouth turned up, "Can I try again?"

"Of course!" She smiled, "Just concentrate really hard this time… _Nox_." The wand went out and switched hands once again.

Argus squeezed his eyes shut and shouted 'lumos', waving the wand in a dramatic loop. He opened his eyes hopefully, but was once again greeted with darkness. He bit his lower lip.

"Hey, it's probably just the wand," Irma tried to comfort him, resting her hand on his back.

He shook his head and his lip started to tremble. "Thanks for trying," he sniffed, and ran back into the house.

He hurried back into his room, locking the door behind him. Into his bed he went, followed quickly by Mrs. Norris with a concerned look in her eyes.

"What am I supposed to do now?" He asked her, tears slipping down his cheeks. She nuzzled up against his side, purring softly.


End file.
